How Do You Earn the Right to Influence?

In a recent zoom meeting a friend raised a question about how quickly each of us would get the Corona vaccine if t became available. When I had time to reflect on the question I realized that the answer for me was that I would get it if my physician recommended it. Does that mean I blindly follow my doctor’s orders? Not at all. But he has earned the right to influence me.

I have seen the same Internal Medicine doctor for over 20 years. I know he is smart, and he does his homework on current scientific thinking. I also know he knows me, how I think about things, and what is important to me. In the past he has made recommendations I readily agree with, and some I am not so sure of. He has always listened carefully to my concerns. We are each trying to influence the other, not to convince. Sometimes I have come to agree with him, and sometimes he has agreed that for me, his recommendation may not fit. We’re not focused on who is right or wrong, only what is right  for me. 

Because my doctor allows himself to be influenced by my perspective, I have come to trust his. Dr. Bob Barkley said we must “earn the right to influence.” And I believe we must earn that right again and again. To earn the right to influence we must allow ourselves to be influenced.

We all influence, and we are influenced. In times of crisis we look to people we trust to influence our thinking and our actions.

We won’t always do what they recommend, but they affect our perspective.

In dentistry we have opportunities to influence the people with whom we work and to shape the standards and culture of our practices, but we have to earn that right. We earn it by standing beside others to see their perspective; by looking for commonalities rather than for differences. If we want to influence co-workers to try new things, or to embrace new ideas it’s important to understand how our recommendation serves their needs, objectives and challenges.

We have a responsibility to help our patients learn about health and influence them to aspire to higher levels of health and well-being. In a health crisis our patients look to us for information and reassurance because of our titles, education, and experience. That doesn’t mean they won’t question our guidance. It doesn’t mean they will blindly follow our recommendations. Our education gives us the right to make recommendations, but we have to earn the right to influence.

There are three key elements that help us earn the right to influence:

Power

Personal power is not about power over others. It’s not about control. Personal power comes from knowing ourselves. The ability to honestly self-assess for example our intentions, our knowledge and our skills will have an effect on our ability to influence others. Power is not the result of bravado, but of vulnerability. The more authentically we come to a conversation, the less likely we are to feel a need to control the interaction. The less we feel the need to control, the greater is our ability to influence.

Personality

Your personality shapes the way you see the world, and it can lead you to believe that everyone sees the world the way you do, or that they should. The more you can embrace the concept that there are other legitimate preferences for taking in information and making decisions, the more influential you will be. You don’t have to know another’s personality style. Understanding that it may be different from yours can raise your curiosity and open your thinking to a mutually respectful relationship.

Passion

Halfhearted beliefs or mere information rarely have the power to influence others. To the degree that we care passionately about our beliefs is the degree to which others are likely to respond positively to our encouragement. If it doesn’t matter to you it is not likely to matter to those you wish to influence. I am not suggesting a cheerleader or bully approach to overwhelm others, but rather a quiet confidence that allows you to hear another’s current perspective and meet them where they are.

Our world and our profession are changing dramatically. We are only beginning to know what that means. We have a rare opportunity to shape our future. We can use this opportunity to act on changes we may have put off for years, or to take advantage of possibilities that have never occurred to us before.

The opportunities are there, and our ability to earn the right to influence others will make the difference between possibility and actualization.

For an in-depth Leadership Guide about how to Influence, click here: Earning the Right to Influence