Mary Osborne

Dental Practice Consultant

Phone: 206.937.5851

Improving communication in dentistry for over 40 years
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What Are You Listening For?

November 12, 2020 By Mary Osborne Leave a Comment

We talk a lot in dentistry about what questions to ask our patients to help them move toward health. Whether interviewing a new patient, or reconnecting with an existing patient, everyone has their favorite questions. But as important as the questions are, our intention — what we are listening for — is far more important.

We know how to listen with intention. We can listen for information; to gather and record data. We can listen for symptoms, to sort for a differential diagnosis. We know how to listen for commonalities to build rapport.

My goal in conversations with new patients, or those I’ve known for years, is to listen for health. Wherever the conversation takes us, my intention is to remain curious about how what they tell me relates to their health.

Conversations about Thanksgiving dinner, the pandemic, illness in the family, or stressing over holiday shopping, all have the potential to help me learn about how patients care for themselves. I can learn about how they tend to move toward health, or barriers they see to that. I can understand their challenges rather than judging them.

When I review a health history, I am not satisfied with just gathering data about existing conditions or diseases. I also want to understand the patient’s attitudes, beliefs, and knowledge about their health. I want to listen for clues as to what is important to them, and to how they make decisions in all areas of their lives.

If a patient reports a history of diabetes or heart disease, for example, I might ask how they manage that or how it affects their life. Beyond the medical fact of the condition, I want to understand how much control they see themselves having over their health.

I listen for what behaviors they have been able to incorporate, and where they seem to feel powerless. The more I understand about the way they deal with their overall health, the better I can help them manage their dental health.

Some of my favorite questions to ask patients are about how they care for themselves. With new patients I might ask: “What do you do on a regular basis to keep yourself healthy?” With patients I have known for some time I might ask, “How do you account for your good health?” “How are you taking care of yourself while trying to work from home and home school your children?”  I listen for how aware they are regarding their bodies, and how willing they are to take time for themselves.

Whenever I hear about any positive behavior change a patient has made, I listen for two things: Motives and Strategies. If a patient quite smoking, changed her diet, incorporated an exercise routine, or any other significant change in behavior I want to know what was important enough to them motivate that change. I see myself as a change agent tasked with helping my patients change the way they think about dental health and often changing behaviors as well. The more I can ground a patient in success they have had in the past, the more likely they are to see possibilities for the future.

The second thing I want to know is what strategies they used to change their behavior. Those strategies can create a platform on which to help them build new strategies for change. Over and over again I have been surprised and delights by how much more creative and more powerful their strategies are than any ideas I could come up with!

If you have ever been awestruck by an intuitive practitioner who seems to have an uncanny ability to engage patients in moving toward health, you have probably met someone who has learned how to listen with intention. It is a learnable skill. Like any skill it improves with practice.

Remind yourself to listen for clues about your patients’ attitudes and beliefs about health. More and more you will begin to hear about their hopes, fears, and values. You will become more curious about what else there is to learn.

When you listen with intention, your intuition will deepen. You will see things more clearly. Your confidence will expand. And you will help your patients discover a path to health.

To read a more in-depth discussion of an application of this topic click here: “Improving Case Acceptance.”

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Filed Under: Patient Care and Communication, Team Development, Uncategorized

About Mary Osborne

Mary Osborne has worked in dentistry for over forty years. She brings to her work the experience of day to day, hands on clinical dentistry as well as a wide range of knowledge gained in working with dental practices around the world.

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A Message from Mary Osborne

New Workshop

I could not be more excited to invite you to attend our new IN-PERSON workshop, “A Team Approach to Whole Health Dentistry,” November 4-5, 2022, in Seattle. I have thought and planned for this workshop for some time and it  finally became a reality last October. The experience was powerful and deeply satifying.

If you bring your whole self to your work to care for the whole person who sits in your chair, you won’t  want to miss this opportunity to learn together with other like minded practices in a spirit of collaboration. Click here to learn more and register

 

Testimonials

The process can be useful for every relationship in our lives . . . Best way to revolutionize your hygiene department!
Dr. Joyce HottensteinRutland, VT
Thank you so much for providing a great environment for learning this hard stuff. I love this community of people who care so much about their work and its influence on the world.
Dr. Rob JostCalgary, Alberta, Canada
As I progressed on my CE journey my clinical skills were getting better and better, but my communication was not up to par. Whenever I questioned mentors about where I needed to go they all had the same answer: Mary Osborne. She teaches communications techniques that are truly from the heart and that have helped me clarify my vision and my role in the practice. A truly exceptional lady. –
Dr. Terri PukanichSlave Lake, Alberta, Canada
“It was hands down the best continuing education class I have ever attended, and truly an amazing experience for me. You were inspirational! I realized that my job as a dental hygienist really matters! I can truly make a difference in the lives of my patients.”
Maggie Ashton, R.D.H.Seattle, WA
Thank you so much for the program. The experience was invaluable and Connie and Donna and I are more engaged and energized then ever!!!!
Dr. Lee Ann BradyGlendale, AZ
For all of the Institutes, technical courses and workshops, it was not until I began studying with Mary that the actual application of my skills exploded. You do not need to learn how to do more dentistry. You need to learn how to GET to do more dentistry. That’s Mary.
Michael J MelkersDDS, FAGDHanover, NH
Reflecting on how much I have learned , not just about patient care but more importantly about myself during the time we have spent together. . . . As I reviewed many of the journals and re-read article from over the years, I forgot just how much I have learned. You have been a great coach, mentor and friend for me.
Dr. Murray KnebelCalgary, Alberta, Canada

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A message from Mary Osborne

https://maryosborne.com/media/mary-osborne-introduction.mp4

About Mary Osborne

Mary Osborne has worked in dentistry for over forty years. She brings to her … Learn More »

Mission Statement

My mission is to help people understand the power of choice in health care. Working with patients, dentists, and dental team members I listen without judgment … Learn More »

Client Testimonials

Thank you for the opportunity to participate with you in your workshops. I have attended many one, two and three day classes, but none as moving for … Read More »

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