“People hear what they want to hear.”
Have you said it? I know I have.
Typically, I’ve said it in frustration because a patient seemed surprised to hear something which was clearly noted as having been discussed before.
Often, I said it rolling my eyes when one of my children shared a fascinating revelation they had gotten from a friend, coach, or teacher. I was sure I had shared that wisdom with them before.
In a class when students say they’ve never been taught a particular concept, and I know it was included in an earlier part of the curriculum, I inwardly sigh, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” I believe that is true. We can’t always expect what we teach to be learned. I also think it’s a way to let myself off the hook. It’s not my teaching that is at fault. It’s his or her willingness and ability to learn.
The problem with both perspectives is that they can tend to place blame. Implied is that someone is at fault, either the teacher or the learner, a judgement that gets in the way of our ability to influence. Where do you want to influence others? Your practice? Your study clubs? Your profession?
Changing your perspective can change your communication.
What if people hear what they are able to hear? What if you believe that most people want to learn and understand, and they will hear whatever they are able to take in at any given time in their lives?
When I think back to my own learning over the years I know there were many things I had to hear more than once before they became an integrated part of my learning. I wanted to learn. I intended to learn, but I missed things. I often laugh to myself when listening to an audio recording I have listened to in the past. I hear things I did not hear before and that I am sure was not in that recording the last time I listened to it. I feel certain the speaker got smarter since the last time I played that recording.
Conditions That Can Enhance Learning
If we want to help others learn maybe we can look at our own history and explore what detracted from and contributed to our learning. (Click here to learn about our new workshop “The Art of Education in Dentistry)
Here are some thoughts that came up for me:
Safe Environment: When I feel accepted for who I am, I am better able to learn. If I think that I am in competition, judged as inadequate, or compelled to perform in a certain way it is harder for me to learn. As I come to trust that the teacher understands what is important to me I am more open to learning.
Relevant Content: When I can see how the learning applies to my needs and wants I want to hear more. Until I am “hooked” into the benefits of the information to me it is hard for me to hear it. Those benefits may not be immediately clear to me.
Digestible content: When the material is broken down into pieces I can gradually put into practice, I can learn by doing. When I am trying to drink from a firehose of information there is too much for me to digest. Sometimes I can break the content down for myself, and sometimes I am not skilled enough to do that.
Appropriate Challenge: When the information I am given is appropriate to my knowledge and skill I feel energized to learn. If the gap between what I know and what I am trying to learn is too wide I feel frustrated; too small and I feel diminished and bored. Learning situations that break into smaller discussion groups help me locate my learning and see where I need more support.
Engaging presentation: When I can engage verbally, mentally, and/or physically my learning is more comprehensive. Going too long without any action on my part makes it hard for me to hear and integrate the information. A teacher who generates questions either through conversation or experiences makes it easier for me to hear the message.
Those are some of my insights when I reflect on my process. I have learned that they apply to many others as well, but it is far from a complete list. What makes it easier for you to learn new things? What gets in your way of hearing information? Your barriers may be quite different from mine.
If we want to influence others through our teaching — patients, team members, or other dentists—it is important to understand ourselves and our “students.” Judging ourselves or others for a failure to learn helps no one. If I believe people hear what they want to hear I feel helpless. If I believe they hear what they are able to hear, I can discover what makes them able to hear.
When I see myself as a fellow traveler in the learning process, I can create a culture in which learning is easier, for myself and for others.
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